A few weeks after Ren died and a few weeks before moving from Stamford, Connecticut to Cottonwood, Arizona I found out that I had gestational diabetes. It was one more thing to worry about during a time when there was plenty to worry about, but changing my diet and completely cutting out sweets was easy because I was doing it for my little unborn Ivy.
During the following two months I did some research and found some numbers that scared me: 2/3 of all women diagnosed with gestational diabetes later are diagnosed with type II diabetes. I remembered watching Grandma Glenda get so frustrated with pricking her finger to check her blood - and how hard it was for her to even get blood from the prick. I remembered watching Ren give himself insulin shots. That's when I decided that I would do what I could to not be a part of the 2/3 that get diagnosed with type II. I decided to stay on the diabetes diet.
As the weeks passed after I had Ivy I dropped weight quickly (I had already started losing before she was even born, just because of the nature of the diet.) I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight and kept losing. When I was ten pounds under my pre pregnancy weight I decided that watching carbs was a little too much and that I would just stick with no sugary treats. I gained back five pounds and held steady for over 3.5 years. Then we moved to Henderson.
I did great in Henderson for 6-8 months, but decided it would be okay to eat treats on occasion. It was a bad decision. Ever since I decided moderation would be okay, I have been battling my sweet tooth and pretty much losing.
Last month I shared with the Laurels how I was trying to claw my way back to not eating treats and how hard it was. After I got home from church I found the power within me to refuse treats again. It was a gift. I know it didn't come from me because the last few years have made me absolutely certain that I am a sugar addict - if I go down that road, I lose the ability to say, "No," to treats. I didn't know that by confessing, I would be given the gift of power to refuse, but that is exactly what has happened.
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4 comments:
That is really GREAT! The Lord really does bless us when we humble ourselves and admit our weaknesses. I've been trying to follow your good example ever since I talked to you. BUT - when I confess I feel so good that I run quick and eat chocolate.
Mom is hilarious.
And I have the same problem as you. The missionaries challenged us to work on a Christ-like attribute and I kept thinking, "temperance". It must have been inspiration, because it has truly been a case of Heavenly Father showing me my weakness. I really struggle with temperance on treats and video games. Abstinence is MUCH easier than moderation. I hope to make it a strength--but it feels so far away! I think your example is a beautiful illustration of Christ helping make our burdens light. I love it!
Sweetheart! I am so pleased you are determined to completely avoid "Type II". I admire you lots. (Mr. Hugs)
Well done. Yours its a very ACTIVE and healthy kind of faith.
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